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21 Questions: Alpha Comedy Staff

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  1. Who is your favorite literary character?

    The Velociraptor from Jurassic Park

  2. If you could make a cameo appearance in a show, what show would it be?

    Breaking Bad. Because I LOVE meth.

  3. What is your greatest fear?

    My employer finding out how much I LOVE meth.


  4. One thing you could eat for the rest of your life?

    Pop Tarts

  5. Favorite movie? Worst movie?

    Favorites: Point Break, The Departed, Incredibles and Closer.

    Worst (I love horribly bad movies but these are movies that take themselves seriously and fail at trying to be good): Crazy Stupid Love (awful and the product placement is atrocious), Blue Valentine (you lost me when the dog died) and anything with Richard Gere (except Pretty Woman).

  6. If you could be born again into any era, which would you choose?

    Any era that involves me brandishing an axe and running into a battlefield.

  7. Last text message I sent...

    Can you believe how big it is? It goes over the water.

  8. What is your motto?

    "The Dude abides"

  9. What song do you have on repeat?

    Hit Me Baby One More Time


  10. Ultimate vacation?

    Vacations are for pussies.

  11. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

    Launching this super cool website. And being on time for work today. #minormiracle

  12. What is your favorite cartoon/comic character?

    I'm going to go with R2D2. I know he's more of a person or real character but I love that little dude.

  13. If you weren't drawing, what would you be doing?

    I don't draw which is why I built this website.

  14. My biggest pet peeve is...

    Ppl who abbrev wrds for no rsn. Srsly.

  15. Who do you admire/who is your role model?

    This is a serious answer but anyone who is doing what they love. I love the guys on this site because they are an expression of the human spirit. They built something. They created a character. They created a world.

  16. When was the last time you laughed really hard?

    Right now, coming up with answers too inappropriate to post here.

  17. One thing you couldn’t live without?

    Coffee. No seriously. It's my number two reason to live. Right behind my dog and right above my wife.

  18. Guilty pleasure?

    Anal beads. Actually, that's not true. They don't make me feel that guilty.

  19. What is your greatest extravagance?

    My wife. She cost 100,000 Rubles.

  20. The best advice you've ever gotten?

    Masturbating in public showers will get you arrested.

  21. I know it's weird but I think...

    ...that it's totally cool if someone has crabs. Or herpes. Like totally fine.

    Should I give my phone number out at this point?

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